Bloodhound Gang

First topic message reminder :

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
name was Russell.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
‘cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
‘Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got the nailer back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'


Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?


Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Here Are The 10 Coolest Things About New Jersey!!! Hit It Boys! Get Away From
ME! Can't You See, I'm Just Losing You!!! Aren't You Just On Your Own? The New
Things!!! 10, S***, 9, F***, 8, C*** And 7,6,5,4,3,2,1, B*****!!! Almost The
End Of The SONG!!!! GO, Go, Go, GO!!! CRASH!!! B***** Hell!!! You Made Us Stop
The Song!!! Let's Start Again. Up, Down The Jersey Continues! Still Alone? Off
The Bar? Locked In A Cage? Alone In The 10 10 (10 10) Coolest Things About...
NEEWWW JEERRSSEEEYYYY!!!!! That's All! Good-Bye!!

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?

Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze
Highlights yes but don't underline ‘em
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem
Life is like Marion Barry
It's not all that it's cracked up to be
Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes
Find the meaning of life is there is none
It's twenty-four hours when you call it a day
Be Frank and say "I Did It My Way"
Don't give a flying nun no don't give a Gidget
Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget
If life were picture perfect you could frame it
But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride, take the long way home

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?

All born equal unless you're Canadian
Then halfway through decay like Uranium
You define what's death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
‘Cause the show ain't over ‘til the fat lady sings
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home

That's enough!
I said that's enough!

[Jimmy Pop:] Eminem's gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well me too, so fuck Will Smith!

[DJ Q-Ball:] That don't rhyme.

[Jimmy Pop:] Drats.

[both laugh]

A" is for "Apple"
"B" is for "Balloons"
"C" is for "Crayons"
"D" is for "Drum"

Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell

One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me
I liked me so much I had to buy the company
Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized
Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope

Conclusions you drew proportions you blew
Lost son of Iggy? False Bigger nose than Ziggy? True
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass
Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke
I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!"
I struck gold but never took it for granted that's how I planned it so can it
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope

One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope

Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope
Great White Dope

The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn

Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy
I'm not old or new but middle school, fifth grade like junior high
I don't know mofo' if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho 'cause she fly
But I can take the heat 'cause I'm the other white meat known as Kid Funky Fry
Yeah I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye
But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine
'Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always strokin' my own Whookie
I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me Cookie

The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn

Yo yo this hardcore ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice
I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is,
So if man is five and the Devil is six than that must make me seven
This honkey's gone to heaven
But if I go to hell well then I hope I burn well
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimmy Hendrix' poltergeist
And Webster yeah Emmanuel Lewis cuz he's the anti-christ

The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn

Everybody here we go
Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people
Ohh Ohh
Throw your hands in the air
Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people
Ohh Ohh
Wave 'em like you don't care
Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people
Ooo Ooo
Everbody say ho
Ohh Ohh
C'mon party people
Ohh Ohh
Everybody here we go

Some of them are hairy, Some of them are bald
Some are kind of scary, And this is what they're called
VagiHaaaina!(vagina)
VagaHoooo!(vagina)
They call that thing..vagina
Some belong to virgins, They're really tight and strong
But big or small i love em'all
That's why i sing my song!
VagiHaaaina!(vagina)
VagaHoooo!(vagina)
They call that thing..vagina
Vagina!
Some of them are smelly, Like clams and fish and such
Some smell like a summer's eve cause they've been douched too much
VagiHaaaina!(vagina)
VagaHoooo!(vagina)
They call that thing..vagina
VagiHaaaina!(vagina)
VagaHoooo!(vagina)
They call that thing..vagina
Nothing could be finer than to be in a vagina, in the morning

How do you let someone know
Its not hots cakes are selling well

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? kinda North Carolina?

Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up
Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee
You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Kevin Klein?kinda South Carolina?

Vagina vagina vagina vagina
Vagina vagina vagina vagina

Times New Roman you know the type
Calling me Public Enemy, but don't believe the hype
Tough guy like the one in "Star 80" wanna bait me
Hook line sinker now your lady wanna date me
Gave your girl a little wink so you make a big stink
Shoulder's got a chip so you flip like a Tiddlywink
Know what I think? I think you might be Darwin's missing link
Get all bent out of shape when the heat is on just like a Shrinky Dink
Bet I can take a hint better than I can take a hick
Completely incompatible though I'm a pussy and you're a dick
How can you hold a grudge when you can't even hold a job?
Should have known butter but you're not corn on the cob
I choose to use a song for a weapon not a sword struck a chord
If I wanted to see stars I'll watch the "Academy Awards"
That's why I ran like a Flock Of Seagulls why make-up like Mary Kay?
You must've given up on hair plugs ‘cause now you're going toupee

All in all you're just another dick with no balls
All in all you're just another dick with no balls

Mama said talk this out and resolve
Don't wanna be involved so gimme a call when you evolve
Doggy paddle to the shallow end of the gene pool
Half with it half wit half finished high school
Give you a piece of my mind but I know you want it splattered
Heard you like your women like you like your shrimp you like ‘em battered
Wife beater perfectly fitting apparel
Where's your brother Daryl? Where's your other brother Daryl?
Givin' me that Macho Man Randy Savage stare
Wanna snap into a Slim Jim break my limbs but do I care?
No sorry I'm a lover not a fighter commit your crime
I'll be glad to do your girlfriend, I'll be glad that you do time
Here's the deal I cop a feel you cop a plea but get the maximum
Now we both got records but the difference is mine's platinum
Definitely showed this yellow bellied wimp limp in your cell now though alone
When you're choking your chicken your chick will be choking on this chicken's bone

All in all you're just another dick with no balls
All in all you're just another dick with no balls

Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde

uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

dog will hunt I'm the frontend loader
travoltin' over so try my slam on for size
drive stick with that kung fu grip
let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs
cop a feel copperfield style
abracadabra that bra do you think i can pull it off
wanna bang around
just jot me down on your to do list under put out like a fire cause

I've got something, and it goes thumping like this
all you need is my unh tiss unh tiss unh tiss
I've got something, and it goes thumping like this
all you need is my unh tiss unh tiss unh tiss

uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

edible strange how do i get in your pants when youre tick tockin them
serious levis so tight can't be classified
thats why im here to fill that opening
make a season pass to mount that ass
and bob hope that i might one night stand a chance
lets go feng shui the fuck around my digs like a superball
bring that sunny side up and

I've got something, and it goes thumping like this
all you need is my unh tiss unh tiss unh tiss
I've got something, and it goes thumping like this
all you need is my unh tiss unh tiss unh tiss

uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

I've got something, and it goes thumpin like this
all you need is my unh tiss unh tiss unh tiss
ive got something, and it goes thumpin like this
all you need is my unh tiss unh tiss unh tiss

uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby
uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless
Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's gonna get some probably underage and dumb
And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young
Lupus in the lavatory making a big stink
Macing up the toilet seat and pooping in the sink
M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup
Waiting for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up
Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales
Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz
With my beer-tinted glasses I'm ready to bitty battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf but I'll end up tending cattle

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Here she comes, a funky fried cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty
Cause I'm Mr. McFeelie with a speedy delivery
You'd think I was a ditch the way this chick was diggin' me
But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be
Hey Lupus is she cute? Yea for a pygmie
Aw! What do you know? You're probably going home alone
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone
Plus beauty, it's only skin deep
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can
It's a ménage à trois you and me and Heineken

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Regrets I've had a few
First and foremost I'd like to mention you
For the sake of conversation we'll call you the Brand New Heavy
Your a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut
You're Buddha you're Shamu you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt
You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry
It was 3 A.M. and I wasn't gettin' squat
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot

I was buttering rolls like a soup kitchen Christian
Then it hit me something bit me while my little rod was fishin'
I was deep sea fishing I took a fat chance
But how was i supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants
At that junction I came to realize
That only Frank Perdue likes thighs that size
Fatty fatty boom ba latty I gotta lament
That you were not a girl you were an experiment

Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)
You're pretty when I'm drunk
(and I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

[Screechy Woman: Are those nunchucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me?]

Let me take you back to the day that I met my China girl
When I landed a 'Pam' like on the San Fran Real World
I was sweating like a vegetable inside of a wok
I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna Bangkok
Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice
Should I talk about Mothra M*A*S*H or shrimp-fried rice?
I was sharp as a Chinese star but it's a line that I threw
Just thirty seconds over Tokyo and this Johnny would Woo
I took a shot like Jeanette Lee put on my moves like Bruce Lee
I told her every Soon Yi needs a little Woody
She said "For all the tea in China me vagina no free,
But me ruv will ringer ronger than de Ming Dynasty"
I said I needed her to do and her to do my laundry
I knew she needed a way to legally stay within the country
She was made in Taiwan I said I'm okay with that
Just promise me you'll never try to eat my cat

[Chorus]
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too

In Japan the hand is used as a knife
In Japan a man's wife's hand job then can cost him his life
But now this Captain Kirk has his own Sulu
I'll shampoo her Foo Man Chu with Lo Hung Wang Goo
Cause I ride my slant-eyed slope like a brand new Kawasaki
Oh my chinky she's so kinky got me hot like Nagasaki
Burnin' up like Napalm burstin' like an A-bomb
I think I got that jungle fever but I caught it in 'Nam
She's like an oriental rug cause I lay her where I please
Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get down on her knees
I'm a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese
First I'll have the poo-poo platter than some tuna sushi
She'll be screaming like Godzilla and kickin' like Jackie Chan
I'll get her redder than China wetter than the Sea of Japan
Like the Chinese New Year she's gonna see fireworks
Now be a good chinky and press Jimmy's shirts

[Chorus]
Sing chinky sing
[Squawking noises]
One more time
[More squawking noises]
[Chorus]
[Repeated through fade-out]
Chinky chinky bang bang, chinky bang
Chinky chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang

Yea well I sing like an amputee though
Why?
Cause can't hold a note can't carry a tune

Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie
I've brought you a letter speedy delivery
Well Mr. McFeelie if there's postage due
You can go fuck yourself like Captain Kangaroo
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do

Mr. Rogers I like your cardigan sweater
Mr. McFeelie shut up and give me my letter
I don't want to talk to you don't you understand?
Why are you inside my house you're just my fuckin' mailman?
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends
You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do

You are my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Why is everbody always pickin' on me?

The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one
To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
Why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you
So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese
Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard
It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him be
And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause no one likes you monkey boy

Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We're the knuckleheads

If you would be the peanut butter then I would play the jelly
I'll peel apart your bread and then I'll penetrate your belly
Your blood stains mighty bad I wash it off with Coast
Now I'll take my jelly and spread it on your toast
No one rhymes faster the mic is my blaster
So grasp some Shasta the mighty mic master
Giving ya communion with your lips on my cup
Pump pump pump pump me up
Now if you're the waterboy then I'm the heavyweight contender
I'm gonna mix you all up like a Black And Decker blender
If you would be the Telstar then I'd have to be Defender
I'll be out in just four weeks I was a first offender
Your a dumb ass stupid Vera and I'm the one that Flo calls Mel
Puttin' holes right through your body like Harvey Keitel
You're a broken down Big Wheel I'm a banana-seated Schwinn
Take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in
I'm a leggo-Eggo maniac I'm stickier than some Fun Tack
Trip to the store and get another six pack
Bomb dropping like at ground zero
Like Colonel Klink is getting fucked by Hogan's Heroes
Eenie meanie miney mo you took your shot you missed
I wasn't a good boy this year I'm not on Santa's list
I gave your girl some sausage and than I slit your wrists
Now I'm taking your ass out like my name was Burgeous Meredith

Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We're the knuckleheads

Fast fast quick Bic like ass when ya pass gas
You threw it like a girl that's why you got picked last
And Mr. Easy does it never did it now did he
Jesus is coming so look busy
And you and your chumps are gonna get your lumps
I got the goose that laid the golden egg you got goose bumps
Cause I'm black y'all, it's a fact y'all
And if you try to take what's mine I'll take it back y'all
I wish all skinheads smelled like Mr. Clean
And that girl from Jersey really was nineteen
Cause the whole damn world would be peachy keen
With Rip Taylor on the cover of every magazine so go
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Taylor Rip Taylor
Your girlfriend we nailed her
My mom's got opposable thumbs
Your mom's Weezie Jefferson
I'd rather eat fresh heiny chow
And i ain't crazy about no god damn butthole no how
Batter roll and whip ya like a fucken' kanoli
If Satan had a hockey team theni'd be the goalie
Cause we're dumber than driftwood dumber than your mama
Dumber than a supermodel dumber than Kwanza

Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We are the knuckleheads
Who's the knuckleheads?
We're the knuckleheads

Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Lyrics


Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Dog will hunt i'm the front end loader travoltin' over so try my slam on for size
Drive stick with that kung-fu grip let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs
Cop a feel copperfield style abracadabra that bra do you think i can pull it off?
Wanna bang around? just jot me down on your to-do list under "put out like a fire" 'cause

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Edible strange how do I get in your pants when you're tick tockin' them
Serious Levis so tight can't be classified that's why I'm here to fill that opening
Make a seasoned pass to mount that ass and Bob Hope that I might one night stand a chance
Let's go feng shui the fuck around my digs like a superball bring that sunny side up and

I've got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I've got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

I've got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I've got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Hey, Look at all that meat!
Ain't she the bitter end?

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Ouch it won’t reach my mouth
If I could do it myself I’d probably never leave the house
But I can’t so here’s where you come in
Giving it "Diff’rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond
Hummin’ hmm hmm good like Campbell’s
And you’ll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall
Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi
They call him Ralph Mouth ‘cause he’s down on Potsie
Rocky chasing the chicken
Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin’
Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission
You go down for the count I countdown ignition
Blast off you’re a rocket scientist
A genius what I mean is you suck at this
So escargot ‘cause my snail needs Frenchin’
You must be five stars cause my staff’s at full attention

Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Dinner for one I know you got your reservations
Starvation like a Third World Nation
So do it for the children and I’ll make a donation
My fly’s in your eyes let me rise to the occasion
In my Underoos I tend to be brief
So when you’re sinking your teeth deep into my beef
You can fondle but it’s kind of like McDonald’s realize it’s
Just a Happy Meal so you can’t Super Size it
Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it
Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included
But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana
To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana
So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss
‘Til it’s Chubby like Checker c’mon baby do the twist
It’s all in the wrist like table tennis
So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix

Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this

Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it

If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot

Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this

Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken.
And feel free to wiggledunk those purple bulldog cheeks.