NOFX

100 Times Fuckeder

fighting with gloves
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder
hitting above the belt
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder
citing the facts
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder
exposing all the lies
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder

we get what we fucking deserve
bringing raised fists to a knife fight
you'd think developed minds could learn
not to give benefit of doubt
you wouldn't trust a hungry animal
around your newborn, would you?

sharing the wealth
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder
taking the high road
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder
showing respect
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder
giving a shit
now we're the ones a hundred times fuckeder

did anyone really expect
to win a race already fixed
the spoils doled out in advance
the appointed already picked
all allegations of fraud
categorically dismissed as absurd

13 Stitches Lyrics

The first time I saw the Descendents, they were the fastest band I'd ever seen
No one in the crowd really cared for them, we were waiting for The Ally Cats to play
After a couple months I heard Kabuki Girl, on Rodney on the ROQ, late sunday night
That was enough for me, I hopped the bus to Licorice Pizza and bought my all time favorite record

The next time I went to the whiskey, it was DOA with Millions of Dead Cops
The latter band played faster than I could believe
But the songs sounded the same and kinda sucked
'cept John Wayne was a Nazi, and Joey Shithead was a drunk
Then John Macias beat some hippie to a pulp, cuz having long hair was a mistake

The third time I went to the hospital, I needed 13 stitches in my head
I managed to catch about 6 songs of Ill Repute, then some suicidal threw me into a post
My girlfriend started to cry cuz we had to leave before DRI played 50 lousy songs
My blood stained shirt smelled of clove cigarettes
But it sure looked pretty cool after a wash

180 Degrees Lyrics


It's so easy to defend the Status Quo
with everyone so cool and cynical
But when you see the end don't justify the means
It's just that 180 degrees

The great thing about bein' a human
The ability to reason
But reasoning don't work when no one cares
2 parts apathy, one part despair

Guess what, this might come as a surprise
I'll no longer roll my eyes
A change of heart to let the conscience breath
One quick twist, just 180 degrees

Yeah, I now know the right thing to do
Yeah, anti tradition tried and true
Yeah, a world where wrong has right of way
Yeah, fuck that world, fuck that heirarchy

Go ahead, work, waste your life away
Fuck that world, go fuck that right away

60%


I'm not here to entertain you
I'm here to meet my friend the Russian
The Irish, the German, the Columbian

I don't care how bad I fuck up
I care about how fucked up I get
I'm not your clown
I'm your dealer

And I'm holding three bindles of bullshit
And you're buyin' them 'cause you are addicted
To the pure and totally uncut

I'm not here to amuse you
I'm here to abuse my body
I'm here because old habits die hard

And seriously, what else am I supposed to do?
This isn't my job, my hobby, my habit
It's sad, but this is my life

Welcome to our mission statement
Total self-debasement
And not giving our all

Watch us Fall!

It's not that we don't pull it
It's just that we only give about 60 or so percent

Would you rather be fed bullshit
From some 20-something, makeup wearing, popstar

"This one goes out to all our fans all over the world
Without you, we'd just be us.
So, I just wanna say thank you!
We fuckin' love you, Modesto!"

Fuck you!

And your "takin' it easy before the show
So you won't lose your voice
And disappoint your fans" routine

And you don't care about the children
You don't even know them
All you know is their money

60% (Reprise) Lyrics



We're the band with our own label
That's money under the table, that's answering to no one
But still, other bands just love to hate us
Talking shit behind us, but smiling to our face

That's OK, it's not that they don't like us
They're just a little jealous, cause
we're having more fun
(the band that wouldn't die)
We're the self-crowned kings of candor, sultans of slander
Bastions of D.I.Y.

Which means we make more money, we've got better prescriptions
We own most of our own music, no one's got their hands in our pockets
We don't have management, we get to play loaded
and only 3 months a year
Some years we just take off, vacations are a write off,
and so is goin' out (fuck us)
I suppose that's how we'll go out,
played out and way after our time

99 Red Balloons Lyrics

You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
Till one by one, they were gone
Back at base bugs in the software
Flash the message, something's out there
Floating in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 red balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic bells it's red alert
There's something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky as 99 red balloons go by

99 Decision street
99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by

99 knights of the air
Ride super high tech jet fighters
Everyone's a super hero Everyone's a Captain Kirk
With orders to identify
To clarify, and classify
Scramble in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 dreams I have had In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standing pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you, and let it go

A200 Club Lyrics


Why do I keep scratching,
Scratching my balls?
I don't like this feeling,
I don't like it at all.

Cause I got crabs,
I got crabs,
I got crabs,
I got those little fuckers biting and sucking my blood.

There's crab eggs in my bed,
They're in the carpet too,
I'll go to the store,
Buy A200 shampoo.
I got R.I.D. of them,
I got all of them,
They won't be back,
Wait a second,
What is this itching in my crack?

Cause I got crabs,
I got crabs,
I got crabs,
I got those little fuckers biting and sucking my blood.

All his suits are torn Lyrics

Billy Cobin lost it all
We knew he would eventually
Some wonders why he took the fall
Others just ask "Who the hell is he
And why should we care for him?"

A baggy man with baggy clothes
A face made of paper mache
He lost his humor years ago
Along with his molars
His head planted beneath his shoulders

Kill the pain, integrity don't keep you warm and sane
Don't throw me out with the bath water
Don't wanna be, anyone who would wanna know me

Billy Cobin had a time, Billy Cobin had a place
Following the fifteen minute climb
Billy took a seven second leap a cannonball
Plunge off the deep

Kill the pain, integrity don't keep you warm and sane
Don't throw me out with the bath water
Don't wanna be, anyone who would wanna know me
Anyone who would wanna know me

All My Friends In New York Lyrics


Staying home is not rally an option
For alcoholics living in Manhattan
Have you seen the size of John Bush's apartment?
It's a bit smaller than a glove compartment
For all my friends in New York, the next 10 rounds are on me
New Yorkers have the most familiar faces
And they do their drugs in the most public places
Every week an old friend shows up, surprise
And wants my friends to stay up for the sunrise
Hello Max, Johnny, John, Omar
Hello sun, goodbye Niagara Bar
How many times can you listen to Blondie,
The Clash, The Ramones, and that Strokes song?
How many people can we fit in a bathroom?
That Ryan Adams guy is fucking crazy
To Pete, Brian, and Jimmy G, the next ten lines are on me

All of Me Lyrics


All of me, why not take all
Can't you see I'm no good without you?
Take these arms, I want to lose them
Take these lips, I'll never use them
Your goodbye left me with eyes
How can I go on dear without you?
You took the best so why not take the rest?
Why not take all of me?

All of me, why not take all of me
Can't you see I'm no good without you?
Take these arms, I want to lose them
Take these lips, I'll never use them
Your goodbye, left me with eyes to cry
How can I go on dear without
You took the part that once was my heart.
Why not take all of me?

All outta angst Lyrics


I'm not insane, I'm not bummed out
I got no one to blame, nothing to change
I got no evil to fight

One thing's for sure, I'm all outta angst
Society don't bother me
And there's something wrong with that

So I'm off to Pakistan, learn the laws of Islam
Fundamentalism, forget that rock 'n' roll
No cigarette, no drink, in fact
It's difficult to think about getting laid
When you don't even get to see her face
I'm not insane

I'm not insane, I'm not liquored up
I got nothing to do, nothing to lose
I got no place to call home

One thing's for sure, I'm all outta angst
Society don't bother me,
There's something wrong with that

Next stop Mongolia
Don't get to golf or fuck or bowl with ya
Throw out that handicap
No stepping out, till spring, in fact it's
Difficult to sing when it's 20 below
And that's during the day
I'm not insane
I'm not insane
I'm not insane

Always Hate Hippies Lyrics


You are a hippie,
You smell like skunk,
I'm your arch-enemy,
A middle class street punk.
Get out,
Get a life,
Get a job,
Everyone's smoking grass,
Everyone is an ass.
Can't you afford to cut your hair?
Cause Frank and I will cut it off for free.
Never trust a hippie,
They'll sell you bad drugs.

American Errorist Lyrics


It's okay
Allow yourself a little hate
Hatred is not so bad
When directed at injustice
You can turn the other cheek
Just don't turn the other way


Enemy of the planet
We finally have a common hate
A reason to forget about our differences
And stand as a united front
It's up to us, we must expose, humiliate
American Errorists
We'll start with one

((THE...WAR...HAS...JUST BEGUN))
((THE...WAR...HAS...JUST BEGUN))

American Errorist (I Hate Hate Haters) Lyrics


It’s ok, allow yourself a little hate
Hatred is not so bad when directed at injustice
You can turn the other cheek, just don’t turn the other way

Enemy of the planet we finally have a common aim
a reason to forget about our differences
and stand as a united front

It’s up to us, we must expose,
Humiliate American errorists
We’ll start with one
The war has just begun

The war has just begun!

Anarchy Camp Lyrics



I got an invitation to go to anarchy camp
there will be twistin', fistin', biting, fighting all in an evening
the soundtrack will go multi platinum,
barbecue a boca while the effigies burn
you may not wanna stay to see how we take care of a turncoat
Christiania's kinda far away so come along with me
we can dance and trip and be anarchists
we gotta get the manual and put it in the oven 'til it cooks
then we're gonna take the ashes to the wassail
and use them to spike the punch

rules of anarchy camp: reckless abandonment,
random acts of dumbness will be rewarded
if you see somebody taking charge,
you'll be expected to beat them
cause everyone who's no one, will be participating
no one who is someone, will ever get to know
the joys of anarchism, destruction of the system, yeah!

so come along with us,
salad days and nights on the anarchaic bus
we're gonna pick up indigents and crusties and a half a dozen nuts
and we're never coming home

underwater basket-weaving (we got some arts and crafts)
meth-amphetamine symposiums (they last a couple days)
African killer spelling bees (you better get it right)
bowling in ice hockey rinks (of course checking is allowed)
anarchy camp's never inert (you think we don't know that it's)
not much fun 'til someone gets hurt (our only motto)
so we're greasing up the rusty vert ramp
time to make some reservations for next years anarchy camp

And Now For Something Completely Similair Lyrics

[CD lyrics:]
Hello, welcome to our CD
Can you hear the blatant similarity?
To Linoleum and Shadows of Defeat

[Vinyl lyrics:]
Hello, welcome to our disc
Turn it louder, get your neighbors pissed
Or turn it down, it don't matter to me

[Cassette lyrics:]
Hello, welcome to our cassette
Have you started feeling some regret
I guess you can't afford a CD

Ant Attack Lyrics


Computers had a war
And you're gonna die

We won't be anymore
We'll all turn to steel
We'll be in hell
Talking to our friends

Nothing to talk about
Coz' everyone will be dead

Arming The Proletariat With Potato Guns Lyrics
[first joke]

- Hey Hefe
- What?
- What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
- Uh... you?

[second joke]

- Hey Fat Mike, what's a Jewish dilemma?
- I don't know
- Free ham!

[third joke]

- Hey Hefe, what do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
- What?
- Cuatro Sink-o!
- Ay!!

[fourth joke]

- Hey Melvin, you know why Hitler comitted suicide?
- Why?
- 'Cause he got the gas bill!

[fifth joke]

- Woah guys, woah, that's not funny man, you crossed the line with that one. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my grandfather, he died in a concentration camp
- Oh, Smelly, that's terrible. I didn't know that
- How did he die?
- He fell off the watchtower

August 8th Lyrics

Birds sing there's not a cloud in the sky, yeah August 8th is a beautiful day,
I see a bunch of hippies crying yeah August 8th is a beautiful day,
Like waking up from a real bad dream, suddenly everything is ok.
The storm has passed and the sun is shining yeah August 8th is a beautiful day.
What's goin' on, what's goin on, is something bummin your scene?
There's something wrong, there's something wrong, I'm not trying to be mean.
The air is sweet the summer flowers bloomin nowhere in sight is there anything grey,
Feelings of joy are filling the street, yeah August 8th is a beautiful day.
Like waking up from a fucked up dream, suddenly everything's looking good.
There's been no permanent damage done, Yeah August 8th came right when it should.
What's goin' on, what's goin on, is something bummin your scene?
There's something wrong, there's something wrong, I'm not trying to be mean.
Poor Jeff,
Poor little Timmy Turtle,
Staying home on such a beautiful day.

Bang Gang Lyrics


We don't care, cause we're in a gang
Parties that we go to end up in a bang
Look at us funny and we'll shoot you dead
While we're there, we'll fill 'em with lead

Of all the gangs, we are the worst
We'll be the last, but we weren't the first
We've been in together for a year and a half
There goes our future, but we live in the past

Let's go out shoot some people tonight
We use guns, cause we don't wanna lose a fight
When we'll fight, it's 20 on 1
Cause fighting that way, is much more fun

Everyone knows that we're so bad
Our nights are long and our days are sad
Cause when we go out, someone might die
But we don't care cause we're in a gang

Backstage Passport Theme Song Lyrics

We're NOFX
Screwin' up since 1983
But these days we've got mortgages and families
So we're goin' on a sketchy tour
No country is too obscure
We're gonna drink and cough and fight and snort
We're NOFX this is Backstage Passport

Bath of Least Resistance Lyrics

Too many words on the the tip of my tongue and
I can never figure out
When to speak when to shout when to shut up
When to knock myself out

I need a brainwash
Gray-matter bath
I need the clutter all
Thrown in the trash
I need a brain wash, cause I'm a loon

So could ya please throw my head in a tub?
I could really use a cereberal scrub
Wash away what I know
It's an overrated frontal lobe

Expensive thrills
sexual perversity
are always filling my mind

Mixed with guilt
Cause of bombs over dresden
Are kinda bringing me down

I need a brainwash
Gray-matter bath
I need the clutter all
Thrown in the trash
I need a brain wash, cause I'm a loon

Cause Im a psycho-babble brain
A real life looney toon
A mixed up maniac, Im certifyable
So put me in a room right next to Nicholson
And give me thorazine Cause all I wanna do
Is sing traditional songs
But I like to sing in minor technologies
Not making sense
So could you please throw my head in a tub
I could really use a cereberal scrub
Wash away all I know
It's an over rated frontal lobe

Beer Bong Lyrics



If I want some beer,
I don't want to hear,
How I missed the show,
Because I drink to slow,
So pass me the beer bong,
It won't take very long,
For me to put down,
Torpedo to the ground.

Because drinking beer's to slow,
Beer bong's the way to go,
To go,
To go,
Don't drink, too slow

Beer Bong, Beer Bong, Beer Bong, Beer Bong

If I want some beer,
I don't want to hear,
How I missed the show,
Because I drink to slow,
So pass me the beer bong,
It won't take very long,
For me to put down,
Torpedo to the ground.

Because drinking beer's to slow,
Beer bong's the way to go,
To go,
To go,
Don't drink, too slow

Beer Bong, Beer Bong, Drink it down now.

Beer Song Lyrics



If I want some beer I don't want to hear about how I missed the show
because I drink to slow so pass me the beer bong it won't take very long
for me to put down this torpedo to the ground because drinking beer is too
slow beer bong is the way to go to go to go don't drink too slow !

Best God In Show Lyrics



I have no consideration
Zero mutual respect
For billions who suffer from rational thought neglect
I don’t wanna waste a sentence
I don’t want a conversation
That’s gonna end in disdain disbelief and aggravation

And I find it’s getting harder to hang out
With grown adults who actually believe
In Santa Clause and Noah’s Ark, and Their god is the best
My distaste has turned into detest

Who would read a 2000-year-old medical journal?
Techniques for blood-letting
Advice on trichinosis
Would you navigate the globe
With a map of a flat Earth?
Without DNA testing would you believe virgin birth?

And I find it’s getting painful to put up
With grown adults who actually believe
In unicorns and creation and god always takes their side
That’s when my innocent jabbing turns snide

Thank god for the Grammy
Thank god for the touchdown
Thank god for blowing up the enemy’s sacred ground
So how am I supposed to take anything you say seriously
When you swap free will for faith, hope and pre-destiny?

And it’s getting agonizing to hang out
With grown adults who actually believe
Mythology and history trump physics and science
My aversion has turned to aberrance