The Felix Culpa

Lyrics to What You Call Thought Control, I Call Thought Cont :
Age is only age until it forgets
Youth and life were a currency well spent

In keeping time by stars, the hours never could repent
And I found myself left asking where they went
Like erosion on the limestone, we all played the parts we played
And I'm still generously standing in the rain
There's violence at the Vatican, our kings are crowned by thieves
And I'll tell you Thomas, things aren't what they seem

Maybe we have made mistakes that we don't even know
But your eyes grow wide with dollar signs
And you work with what you're sold

We awoke without our youth
To the beautiful uncompromising truth
That we never knew what you wanted us to
Retracing steps, are these the prints we've left
A meager crooked path that still circles rest

And it takes all I have just to sit and breathe
But it brings up the differences in you and me
It takes all I have just to sit and breathe
But I'd trade up my lungs for a second shot at twenty-three
To be in love with love is not enough this time

Holding open hallway doors, I left too much to chance
Now i'm sitting empty handed, scaring up a past
There's violins at the Vatican, our kings were crowned by thieves
So I'll ask you Thomas, what do you believe

Lyrics to Unwriting Our Songs :
I have placed everything dear on this table
To prove to everyone hear that it's stable
But mostly I'd like to prove to myself
That I can build something without my father's help

Lyrics to The First One To the Scene of An Accident Always G :
Breathe now, while you have a choice
I watched your color fade
You're a siren without a voice

Don't leave me here
To carry the banner
Like the string to the hammer
You were the key pressed too many times
Now my hand's on a still chest
Praying for short breaths
Awaiting a miracle

Leave now, all that you're buried in
Shed your leaves, catch the crow
A soft swallow to sing again
You raise the colors of the king to slay the ghost
But it's the romance of holding your breath til you get what you want
That keeps you home

Don't leave me here
To find juniper casings
At your feet while your tasting
The sour of sweet from the life you took
You were the still before morning
A storm without warning
A page from a better book
What are you waiting for

Leave now, live out your safer bet
And tell me that you don't have regret
What are you waiting for

You were a song sung in passing
A shadow left casting
Now your pages are burning
From your diagram lasting
I drew the sick from your shoulder
To watch you recover
Start living for something
Or you'll die here for nothing
What are you waiting for

Lyrics to The End Of Inspiration :
i never saw the light turn green,
i just trusted what was in front of me.
indecision leads to catastrophe,
and inaction to reaction in the worst way.
and i'll wait my life away.
your useless devices won't choke me.
i'll choke myself.
i slid past my turn a long time ago,
and now i'm left with a long drive home,
less the interruption of your telephone.
the infatuation with conversation in the worst way.
and i'll wait my life away.
your useless devices won't choke me.
i'll choke myself.
at inspirations end is where i stand
with your face buried in my hands and your song...
blessed with this curse and left to hate
every single thing that i create and your song,
forever ringing in my ears.
i'll leave me here in this contrived useless masterpiece,
and i'll watch you break under the weight of inaction,
and attraction.
what could be more beautiful?

Lyrics to The Constant :
You were the constant in me
The branch to my falling leaf
As I recall the ways that I was once held by this tree
And it stays with me
Where I lay, windblown as such
A far cry from the place that I know we touched

Peace be still, my son find peace
I built all these bridges from rotted beams
Peace be still, my son find peace
To narrow the span between reprieves

And it takes all I have just to sit and breathe
But I'll trade up my lungs for your company
And I'll take what I can from what's offered me

I asked you to meet me in the middle, my love
But waves can't reclaim the sea
They're just spat back to the beach
And left to leave their footprints as foam
Inches from what they once called home

Peace be still, my son find peace
Peace be still, my son find peace
I built all these bridges from rotted beams
Peace be still, my son find peace
To narrow the span between reprieves
Peace be still, my son find peace

Your melody's like a science to me
I once was the fire in your poetry
But it seems that you left that, along with me

Your melody's like a science to me
A thin skin stretched over a frail machine
And between you and me, we can barely breathe
Barely breathe

Lyrics to The Apartment :
the floors are filthy,
cluttered cupboards and covered numbers
sent away by mail...
love leaves a paper trail.
stand in the kitchen, stare through the tile,
ignoring the glances, the dishes are spotless.
same money... new problems,
it never matters where we are,
so shut your eyes, cause everything's more beautiful in the dark.
retain contact through tension, affirm feeling by mail,
communicate by laundry, the tv does the talking.
same problems with new money,
it doesn't matter where we are,
so shut your eyes, cause everything's more beautiful in the dark.
avoid contact, we might have to admit how deep we are,
just shut your eyes cause love only exists somewhere in the dark.
same money... new problems,
it never matters where we are,
so shut your eyes, cause everything's more beautiful in the dark.
we won't last here in this past year wondering where we are.
so shut your eyes and come find me somewhere in the dark.

Lyrics to Rum and Cigarettes :
I've got a good head on me now
I've got a good head on me now
It's in the spaces where you and I exist
And this sweater that I'm wearing
Was in a good need of repairing
But it was only ever mine to try and fix
And it was wrong of me to expect you to know
Exactly what it was I needed sewn
So don't rush home
Don't rush home
There's a clarity that comes with being alone
And it's good to remember what it is I miss

Lyrics to Roots :
We hold hands like old trees that have grown too close
A tangled knotted nest of rotted roots that choke
The veins that eek their way through the dirty soil
That bears them out of duty to their bastard child

This song's own belonging is lost on me
A sort of unnerving answer to your melody
A shoddy patchwork cut and paste memory
Baby leave the hearts you break and love the life you made with me
And we'll sing
Oh no, no
Leave the hearts you break and love the life you made with me

Lyrics to Quit :
Consider this my resignation from caring at all,
in two weeks time, i'll be just fine.

I swear to God i'll quit before I learn to live with this
second best half attempt.

I'll follow this untill my legs give and my heart explodes.
A job well done, a course half run.

'till then i'll wait to see the ground give way in front of me,
relieving me of this dream.

We are the children of the stages we have left behind,
our makeshift homes.
We're sleeping soundly on the bed of broken songs performed,
one by one, with our eyes slept shut.

"Awake...
...this is your birthright waiting for you to claim,
this is your birthright accept it in My name."


I wish i had some covering to cover me from everything, a naive smile to hide behind.

Lyrics to Our Holy Ghosts :
There's no room for mistakes in here, my love
What with the promise of poisoned fruit that this place has offered up
And we've taken our spills with a heavy handed grace
At the hands of each other, we'll be kissing one another
While covering our mistakes

We'll be in love with love
It's not enough this time
To be in love with love

You were the one that I always thought I'd keep
But whether in body or in my head, my assumptions sing me to sleep
Is there a separate room for those
Of us who dance with our holy ghosts
Can we destroy our past with a light and a match
Seal the door and hope it stays closed

We'll be in love with love
It's not enough this time
To be in love with love
Is not enough this time

You did what you had to do to prove to me that we just don't exist
You did what you had to do to prove it all to me

In love with love
It's not enough this time
To be in love with love
Is not enough this time

You did what you had to do to prove to me that we just don't exist
And I never took the time to apologize for what I chose to miss
My dear, if there's one bloom here in the roses in our frozen garden then
All the stars that fell from our hands will land and thaw the earth to bloom again

You did what you had to do to prove to me that we were sinking ships
On the black jade of solemn seas where good men go to finally make their peace
My dear, if there's one bloom here in the roses in our frozen garden then
All the stars that fell from our hands will fall to earth and we will bloom again
We will bloom again

Lyrics to Numbers :
so tell me, are you happy?
with a boy on each arm and six new numbers.
and numbers, are you with me?
you look twenty-three but you're four to me.
and to me, you're foreign.
fake a laugh, don't look back and let your heart attack,
at the drop of my heart.
and tell me, am i happy
with the choices you've made that got you this far?
and so far, you're nowhere.
fully aware you're going back there.
you said if we run away, we could come back different someday.
the choices you make are what make you.
so fake like you're close to twenty-two.
and tell me, am i happy
sitting alone with my decisions?
deciding not to be happy.
twenty-seven new stitches on a bad dream.
but we've all got scars we're not willing to bear,
and we've all got thoughts we're not willing to share,
but when will we care?
you said if we run away, we could come back different someday.
the choices we make are what make us.
so fake like we almost know ourselves.
and You are all i choose
You are the I am.
I am not You.

Lyrics to Number 5, With A Bullet :
i'm so sick of failing. i never meant to fail you.
your words now become me, as mine all seem to fall through.
these walls once held our dreams,
we were once in love here in this building,
it's now burning and we're crowding the exits,
running to escape the rest of our lives.
your arms around me feel like consolation,
your hands are holding sympathy,
we once were constellations.
these walls still hold our love,
diluted and displaced.
so i'll embrace what's left and hope for the best,
as you turn and leave this place.
i never meant to fail you,
yet i succeed for fifteen hours a week. weak.
i never meant to fail you.

Lyrics to Number 5, With A Bullet :
i'm so sick of failing. i never meant to fail you.
your words now become me, as mine all seem to fall through.
these walls once held our dreams,
we were once in love here in this building,
it's now burning and we're crowding the exits,
running to escape the rest of our lives.
your arms around me feel like consolation,
your hands are holding sympathy,
we once were constellations.
these walls still hold our love,
diluted and displaced.
so i'll embrace what's left and hope for the best,
as you turn and leave this place.
i never meant to fail you,
yet i succeed for fifteen hours a week. weak.
i never meant to fail you.

Lyrics to Mutiny :
You're the light from outside
That creeps through the cracks where the door doesn't meet the frame
And shines in our eyes
Reminding us of the sleep that we've yet to take
The floorboards creek under the weight of hesitation
As we shift our weight from your self-righteous indignation

And it's so sweet of you to embellish the truth
But you'll never have more to come home to
Than the lies in light of those who pity you

Take a good look around
From your sickbed your well-wishers must seem so sincere
But these hospital grounds
Are long with your stay, either die or take the cure
Your ship-to-shore is good for little as you've shown us
You'd stay alone at sea just to claim that no one noticed

But it's so sweet of you to embellish the truth
For us, the chosen few
But you'll never have more to come home to
Than your lies in light of those who pity you

So sweet of you to embellish the truth
For us, the chosen few
But you'll never have more to come home to
Than your lies in light of those who pity you

Everyone is a home unto themselves
But you'll never be home until you become a home to someone else

And it's so sweet of you to embellish the truth
But you'll never have more to come home to
Than the lies in light of those who pity you
And it's so sweet of you to embellish the truth
But you'll never have more to come home to
Than the lies in spite of those

Everyone is a home unto themselves
But you'll never be home until you become a home to someone else

Lyrics to It's Raining At Indian Wells :
Do you remember when you were twenty-two
Did you know more than everyone else back then too
Or is this something recent that came with age
My face is your face and my hands are your hands
But my blood's something different you can't understand
If you cut to the nerve, I doubt you'd find a trace

We can never go home
We can never go home, can we
We are bricks and we are bones collected in memory
And we're a waking dream
And we have been known to creep like ivy
Through the cracks in the building where we once used to sleep

There are horizons I'll never see
But as much as i want to leave, I'd rather be
Show me the door and tell me to be still

I'm still waiting to awaken to older and wiser
But the things that I've started since my youth has expired
Leads me to believe that wiser never comes
I'd take a father who's a drinker with a ten-penny temper
Over someone who believes that his words haven't mattered
I know you'd build back this house if it were the right thing to do

We can never go home
We can never go home, can we
We are bricks and we are bones collected in memory
And we're a waking dream
And we have been known to sleep
In the beds of the building where we once were a family

From here, we shine through the dark
We were electric works of art
Displayed in a building now condemned

Ten years too long to figure out
There's not too much left in this house to skirt around
In the cold of this midwestern winter, we owned up
And I'll drive away with what I can
But as much as my heart is here, I'll understand
Mistakes can make a family
But a home is built on love
Were we home

Lyrics to I'm Still Learning :
every little thing is made of plastic,
it all winds up breaking in the end.
some day i hope to find something that's lasting,
and with it find peace of mind again.
we've all sold ourselves to the image,
the temporary fix that pacifies.
tried and true and died in blue,
we've held on through all it's pulled us through.
parting without goodbyes,
as we watch everything die.
what happened to art and beauty for beauty's sake?
we've sold out our expression for a bigger stage.
eyes gone black from searching for what i'll never find,
until i learn to close my eyes and leave the past behind.
eyes gone black from searching for what i'll never find,
until i learn to close my eyes and let the image die.
the image is so red
but you never fail
the blood's on my hands
and i am for sale.
what happened to art and beauty for beauty's sake?
we've sold out our convictions for a bigger stage.
the image is so dead
despite what we're taught
and with the blood from your hands
i have been bought.

Lyrics to Good Buisness Moves :
It's getting harder to discern art from good buisness moves,
as the poets auction off their best lines.
And the suits now wear guitars, and supposed punks pose in front of their new cars,
writing songs in their spare time.
And we've proven that we respond best when only moderately impressed,
so we all write the same songs.
And we bide our time waiting for a line that we can sign our name to,
so we can sound like you, just like you. Be just like you.
Average is entertaining, so sing along without complaining
and you and all your friends can be stars.
Don't worry about saying something, we pay your writers next to nothing...
Just get on that stage and look good with those guitars,
and buy your parents new cars.

Lyrics to Fallingstarroutine :
i watched you fall through the atmosphere,
you burned brightly, you're becoming clear.
this dream was never meant for me.
you're staring up and falling fast,
with fingers pointing constantly, watch your back.
from where we stand you're not prettier than all of us.
you're breaking up and burning out.
...going out.

Lyrics to Escape the Mountain, Lest Thou Be Consumed :
Somewhere out there is your safer bet
In a world without disappointment or regret
I know you can't tell your heart what not to do
It just keeps on working, even if you don't ask it to
The clockwork ticks to keep the frame alive
It tells us who to love, who to leave, and when to lie

There's a dollar to be made here
A payment to be exchanged here
A service that goes unnamed here
We're still stealing from our savior

We are so much more than we touch

We are arms without fingers
We are natural selection
And we're reaching for each other
As we pass in opposite directions

We are so much more than we touch

Are we saving ourselves
Or just waiting on someone else
To make an excuse in our name
We're twice fit to be suns of hell
And we scream at our gods so well
About our misfortune and fame
It's such a shame, we're all the same

We are so much more than the sum of all our wants
We're the sum of all our love, but we only love what we haven't caught
We dance like politicians as we kiss like common thieves
Sneaking around our parent's attic, looking for the keys
There's no substance in our voices, save for what we're drinking
And nothing in our hands, save for contempt for what we're thinking

We are so much more than we touch

Are we saving ourselves
Or just waiting on someone else
To make an excuse in our name
We're twice fit to be suns of hell
And we trained up our sons so well
To live in misfortune and fame
It's such a shame, we're all the same

You'll either believe it or lie to yourself
And if you believe it you'll probably go ask someone else
We're all prisoners of a war that we helped create
Dying to complain about lying in wait
To believe in a reason to lie to ourselves
Either believe it or lie to yourself

Lyrics to Commitment :
Where to begin?
No one ever tells you that you lose your best friend
when you make her your wife.

So let's talk about commitments and compromised positions.
Let's talk about learning to live with decisions.
Cause we live in a world where no one wants to work,
so we scream at each other just to be heard,
and the louder it gets the more we forget that
love's not a choice but we choose when to use it.

So let's write a song without any words
and let the poetry be colored by the notes we disperse.
Or we'll still be singing these songs we penned
about the ones we once loved and have forgotten since.
They all slip away.

So let's toast to that same sad song.
Raise your glasses to the fact that first impressions don't last long
Cause at the end of the day we'll have watched our beauty fade,
like the ink under the skin of the choices we've made.

Save tonight and embrace these memories.
The love we share will outlast this song.
Save tonight cause there's nothing better here.
The songs we sing will eventually all fade away.

My dear friend, if it's really love you've found
then hold it high and love it more even when it lets you down
...and it will.

We all still trip on the bags that we've tethered to
the past we try and leave to become half of something better.
And only when it leaves do we know exactly what its worth,
it's never worth your time, if you can't leave you hurt.
And to make sure it stays you must leave everything,
including what you had with her before she wore a ring.
So just blame these sad songs.

Save tonight and embrace these memories.
The love we share will outlast this song.
Save tonight cause there's nothing better here.
The songs we sing will eventually all fade away.

When it's good it's good and when it's bad it's still better than every

single thought you had before you were together.
When it's good its good and when it's bad its still better than every

single night you spent before you ever met her.

Save tonight and embrace these memories.
The love we give will out live these songs anyway.

Lyrics to Because This Is How We Speak :
I would say that we saw this coming
If I thought it would change a thing
But at some point, we all stop running
Some finish the race while some save their strength
And a day is coming soon when the banner of youth
Will be dropped somewhere between
Writing songs in our parents' basement
And basing our lives on what they mean

So if this is the last time
Leave it all under these lights
We've played out our lives on these stages
Just to be buried with pages of songs left unsung
This is the last time

Give us something to take home
A last line to sing
Cause these half empty glasses
With stress cracks and fractures
Can only grow so weak
Before they break and spill out a dead language
That we've forgotten how to speak

And this is the last time
We'll all hang for the same crime
We buried the axe in the walls of these old village halls
Just to claim that we were there
And this is the last time

Better to sink than to yield
Better to lay down the shield
Better to claim what we can
Than be surprised when it ends
Better to guess where we're going
The glass house before the throwing
Better to know when to run
Then face what we all become

So raise, raise your glass to the ones
Who gave their youth
So we could sing along

And this is the last time
You'll hear me apologize
I'll be that rope that you tied
Around your wrist to remind you
What idle hands have done
And this is the last time
And this is the last time

Lyrics to Bad Actors :
we are the broken branches that used to bear the fruit,
of endless toil and unwavering pursuit.
torn from the soil and taught to entertain,
and sold for so much less than the price of our disdain.
as we were kept from knowing what these walls contain,
you couldn't keep from showing your well rehearsed foreplay,
torn from the soil and given melted wings,
you couldn't keep from showing the truth a lie can bring.
am i to blame?
these walls close in stealing air from all within.
sold back, so what? you took your cut,
and this is all that matters.
we are the broken branches that used to bear the fruit,
of simpler times when there weren't contracts out on our youth,
torn from that soil and taught to sign our name,
force fed by invitation, anticipating fame.
who am i to complain?
these walls close in stealing air from all within.
sold back, so what? you took your cut,
and this is all that matters.
these walls close in.

Lyrics to Apologies :
Thank you for letting me
Hold you every night,
But I must be leaving,
To find us a better life,
With two cars, a big yard,
And everything you deserve.

And all that I've said in songs,
You'd rather hear in words.

I'm sorry for running
From what I have to do.
You're patient like the shore,
As I wash over you.

And the winds will subside,
As will the tide,
And we'll reclaim the pieces of
The life we've loved.

And you want stars,
And I am forever.
Looking up...

So come on, come on baby.
Jump in, jump in with me.

We'll swim,
Or maybe we'll go down.
But at least we'll be together in the end.

So come on, come on baby.
Jump in, jump in with me.

We'll swim,
Or maybe we'll go down.
But you know we'll be together in the end.

In the end...

Lyrics to Aphoristic Instruction :
for twelve years now
for two people,
there's a war that's been waged by the feeble.
in your mind
it's your son's fault,
not the birth of a dual action hate vault.
blood red sunset
every sunday,
to mark death of emotion between us,
but in your eyes
it's not worth it,
to give up, admit defeat or relinquish command of your forces.
we've been talking
in circles,
what was once blue has bled itself purple.
we're now silent
towards each other,
guessing words in white text that form footnotes on our screens.
we can't change the destiny of others.
we aren't soldiers but we've waged this war, now we'll live to fight again.
we've fought for life so much in this place,
we've shed so many tears in distaste,
for each other and my taste buds have moved on.
(we've shared these lives,
now we're stricken by conviction and biased threads of time.)
we can't change the destiny of another.
we aren't soldiers but we've waged this war, now we'll live to fight again...
...and we torture ourselves outside of these guided lines,
replacing what might be with what has never been.
twelve years of pure aggression,
an absurd angst obsession,
until finally we line ourselves inside these shadowed holes.

Lyrics to An Instrument :
i don't remember ever being someone else
but here i am, on this stage singing like i mean it
watching you stare back at me
like you've seen a ghost, which is pretty close
you can see through what i believed in
i was an instrument, i was a messenger
but what you are doesn't matter until you've sold it
and i've nothing left for you to buy

i let you watch us whither
in the name of something bigger
i guess that i was given
something greater than my hands could hold

i know that i could fake this and you'd eat it up
but it's not in me to cheat your parents out of their money
see, i'm no more a tortured artist than a self-serving, temperamental addict to the sound of my own praise
and i could write for days and days without finding a word that would bear repeating
but still, i can't put this pen down, like it's going to somehow make you proud or make me more of a man than i am now,
or allow us the words to respond for the years that this song has taken
and i've nothing left for us to say

so this is where i brought us
to float without a purpose
the fire i lit consumed us
the boat, the crew, the tourists
we all paid to be
something greater than my hands could hold